May be One Day.....

I have seen your pain....I have taste your tears....I have felt your misery...I know it all. A thousand armies could invade my heart but only you had conquered it forever... you breached a fortress of despair, you broke the wall that covered me from the passion of love. You were my armor, you were my pillar that stood ever so tall, now how could you let it all fall....you showed me light, a fraction of hope and you took them all back. You gave me love but you also gave me despair. Why do you torment this soul that only longs for your love?? The rain came by...I was finding for shelter...looking for an umbrella...but you were never there.The dark cloud has passed...the rain has stopped but I'm still shivering in cold, for my clothes are still wet. The thoughts of pain has ever shaken me....yet the hope of love, makes me go on. I never cried for the sins I have done...yet I cried for the sins you have done....I love you, and I forgave you....what would it take to make me not fear?? The past has left scars...it becomes a blemish in my life...yet why does it all comes back and reopen the wounds....I need to heal. I retire from battle....for this heart has gone threw to much torment already.

I would give you a shoulder to cry on, I would use my palm to wipe your tears....I would kiss those lips that shutters when you fear...I would make you laugh when you are in sorrow. I would embrace you when you shiver in cold...I would be your umbrella when the rain falls. I would listen to every word of your pain and problems, I would advice in every way I could...I would keep you company in the darkest time of your life...I would take a knife straight threw my heart...just to know you would survive...I would die trying to protect you...so I never feel guilty of not trying. I would never give up on you...because I don't want to be the person who never tries harder. I would try impress you in every way...I would do anything to keep this love going but have you ever sat back and think of how much I'm going threw??????

I have done my part....I have never betrayed the trust, I have proven my love...I have given my fullest yet I receive the same....now this heart bleeds in pain for it has been hurt of trying. It has forever beat for you...every beat it speaks your name yet now its covering in shame....how can I ever not try to change what you are?? All I have done...was still care for you...in the hope you will change. I have done it all but you still fail to realize that...its all for you. I'm in pain, yet I still kept going...for the hope of this love to forever last.

thought this relationship may never meant to be....I wont be sad...for I know you are better now then before. A caterpillar may be always ugly...but one day it will be a beautiful butterfly. One day you will realize, all I did was change you to a better person...think back of how you were...and think now of what you are...one day, you will know the true meaning of love was never trust or understanding...but care. One day you will realize how much I loved you...When you are on the mountain top, you will look back at me...and wonder why I was lacking behind but the truth is......I was always at the back...for I was forever watching over your back, pushing you on top.

I only wish you could understand everything that I have been doing for you....though words are strong..I see actions stronger...I am a man of few words...but my actions speaks louder. May be not now....but maybe in the future you will realize....I was always holding your hand and I have always loved you from the very depth of my heart.

.....DENZEL.....

betrayer....

A sin that many people has committed....after all the hurtfulness the person being betrayed feels..yet all the betrayer feels is guilt?? some heartless people don't even feel that...

All my life I have felt betrayal....friends, love...trust...but when I think back "do I deserve all this?" All I did was to care and love....be truthful to friendship and love, trust and be loyal...yet why do they somehow end up betraying those pure qualities that I have shown them?....No tears could answer, no prayer could answer...if it has, why does it still happen??

Some people say " you have to love to betray and betray to love" how could that even be true?? isn't there any way where betrayal is not the only means of being a successful person?? Is it possible to succeed without any act of betrayal? Every time I have felt betrayal, deceit, or even backstabed...I always wonder why it happens, how these people could actually do them knowing its only going to hurt me. How could a friend betray my trust and talk ill of me when I have never done the same, when I have always been there for them. How could a girl whom I love even more then my self betray the trust and love that has been always there for her...all the pure emotions that has been there for them just washed away...as I speak, I only speak of my past but when I think back, its hurtful still knowing the pain they have caused.

I'm sure many has gone thru the same but have you ever wondered if you have ever betrayed anyone and karma is finally getting back at you?? well if you think so...then I'm sure it goes to them to...because karma is a bitch and it eventually hits everyone....A way of gods punishment by giving them equivalent exchange...yet for me...its not enough. Those betrayers should be shown far worst judgement...for they have ripped apart every true and pure emotions out of us....they have deceived our love for them. all they have done was put on an act that made us pour out even our deepest secrets and love yet if they are so heartless to break those  trust and wash the love away...Then why not let judgement be 10 times worst.

Some friends may talk ill about you and reveal your secrets that you trusted them with to others....yet when you find out, a slight burst of anger irrupts but more of disappointment. When you ask them, they try to deny or even cover up the whole scenario by blaming others. Never fall for those tricks and always keep in mind that " a thieve never admits he has stolen " If you were betrayed and been deprived out of love by your loved one, He or she might deny and claim they have been loyal and truthful all along, get your facts right and show it to them, it will definitely shut them up. The second thing they will do is to ask for forgiveness...Yes, forgive but never forget for everyone deserve a second chance...but never a third. "If you do then your risking being betrayed and hurt a second time" There is always possibilities for them to do the same a second time.

No one is perfect in this world, but that doesn't mean it is a flaw for you to create mistakes over and over again....Mistakes does not answer for your betrayals. once the trust is lost, it is hard to regain. betrayal could never be categorized as a mistake because people do mistakes and learn from them but it takes a heartless monster to betray and deceive a person who loves and care for you. Forgive your enemies but never a friend who has betrayed the very name of friendship.....They are untrustworthy, a meaningless entity and a total waste of your sympathy and forgiveness. For me the biggest sin is betrayal. because it's the devil's nature of consuming a persons mind, and the moment a person betrays others, he or she has already been in pair with the devil. An unforgivable sin that will be taken to the very depths of hell.

I have seen it all, been thru it all....I know the feeling of being betrayed, and I know how a wounded heart weeps. Never waste your tears for those who don't appreciate and deserve them. They wouldn't hurt you if they really cared for you. If there was a reason for revenge then I see this is the reason....all you backstabbers, betrayers, deceivers...your tongue's are so fowl that you speak ill of the person who truly cares for you. You have done enough to hurt me...and this heart has been wounded to many times, it has consumed all despair into hatred and a reason to seek revenge.

If you think you might get away with your cheats and words, then let me remind you....I might not know, I might now see or hear them but sooner or later, no secrets last and eventually the blinding cloth will be removed. You should pray for I will be in your subconscious mind, I will be in your worst nightmare....I will be the reason for your pain and sorrow...for I will be giving the pain back 10 times worst to you. That is my fair judgement for betrayers.......I hope you betrayers keep you fowl tongue behind your teeth.

There are only really a few stories to tell in the end, and betrayal and the failure of friendship and love is one of those good stories to tell.

My Dad....My Armour.

Many people have influenced me through out my life. I have chosen only one person to talk about today. This person is my Dad, he has influenced me in many different ways, and he has forwarded many values on which I have found my actions and success: I will speak about the five most important values...diligence, talent, dicipline, dignity, and responsibility. In this blog, I want to explain on how my dad has influenced me to be a man I am....so this Is for you dad. 

The first value, that I gained, is Diligence....My Dad is a hard working person; he makes sure he’s always on time where ever there is a job to be done. Even when he is very busy I can see that he never say no to anyone who needs help from him because he is a white-hearted person who wants the best for others. This characteristic helped me a lot as I used to be different but with his support I can now handle facing hard times and work. Im always punctual to class and I'm sure it will benefit me in my carier path that I have chosen.

The second value that I added to my characteristics is Talents. I remember that there was lots of stuff that had to be fixed at home....my dad was always a self learner. He never gives up till he has pondered his mind over something that needs to be repaired. Being an engineer...he has tought me many things and how to repair them.

The third value that he showed me was Discipline....My dad has always been a stern and strict person. Even my friends are afraid to face him...I shiver in fright at the sight of his angered red eyes and as he approches me if I have done or said something wrong... But he always used to say..."I treat you this way...hit you at times just becouse I care for you, hoping 1 day you will change and realise your mistakes. I never want my son to go the wrong way...all I want is to be proud of you 1 day"...that sentence he spoke gave me a turning point where I repent from my sins.

The fourth value he gave me was Dignity, my dad was always a proud man...he is a succesful man in education and work....won the best eng. award 3 times in his company... he brought up and educated two children being a single parent....he did his best in everything. My dad said "I want to raise you both up with everything I have left...and when I see you both at the top...I will die with dignity and a bright smile with nothing to regret..becouse I brought my childrens up well" now I can proudly say...I am who I am becouse of my father who brought me up to achive greatness one day. though im not there yet...it will come soon.

The fifth value he gave me was responsibilty...being a father obviously has to be responsible....and he has groomed me to who I am now....I remember there was a time when I faced some problems, he never gave me a helping hand...he told me "you have to learn to face them yourself...you are old enough and you have to be responsible for your actions...so now you face them but dont make it worst...always try your best to solve it" has tought me to always face my own problems....now when I face any situations...I am able to manage them without help...I could be in the worst sittuation but im able to endure them becouse my dad has make me strong to face and walk in this world.

Dad...I thank you for the man you have mad me...thank you for the strenght and courage you gave me to face this world....thank you for loving me despite all that you have been thru..I know I have done and said many hurtfull things that might had hurt or disappointed you. but you must know that I have always loved you and kept you in my heart...though I dont show it to you...I respect you so much...and I appreciate everything that you have done for me.....thank you dad... one day you will be proud of me....I'll do anything to make it happen....that the only way I could ever repay you father....I love you so much.